Before reading your essay, I had a negative opinion about a market economy. I think it really has the power to change the readers' ideas. Now your essay kind of changed my point of view in a way, that a market economy somehow gives people opportunities to be successful. Nice job! (:
i really like your evidence. I've never thought about that. Does that mean that everyone should take risk? The way you wrote your essay was very effective. Awesome job!! :]
I also think think that mixed economy is the best economy before i read your essay, and now i changed my mind. Your evidences are good, especially the Manifest Destiny one, that's the one that changed my mind. Really, really good job.
I think your essay is pretty cool. You use descriptive language, and I like your thesis of taking risk, and the Manifest Destiny evidence is very good. You did a great job man!!
I think you have a strong introduction with a very clear thesis. Your evidences support your thesis very well. However, I disagree a little bit about the way you analyze your evidences. For example, the way you interpret Don Anselmo as making low quality products, and sell them for cheap. Meanwhile, in the next sentence you talked about the Americans taking risks. Therefore, if you eradicate all the inconsistent analysis in your essays, I believe that would improve the already very unified and coherent essay.
I think your essay is really good, the only things i think you should change is your evidence. I think you should use more real life evidence than the story we have read. Cause it is more easier to understand and find more information about it.
6 comments:
Before reading your essay, I had a negative opinion about a market economy. I think it really has the power to change the readers' ideas. Now your essay kind of changed my point of view in a way, that a market economy somehow gives people opportunities to be successful. Nice job! (:
i really like your evidence. I've never thought about that. Does that mean that everyone should take risk? The way you wrote your essay was very effective. Awesome job!! :]
I also think think that mixed economy is the best economy before i read your essay, and now i changed my mind. Your evidences are good, especially the Manifest Destiny one, that's the one that changed my mind. Really, really good job.
I think your essay is pretty cool. You use descriptive language, and I like your thesis of taking risk, and the Manifest Destiny evidence is very good. You did a great job man!!
I think you have a strong introduction with a very clear thesis. Your evidences support your thesis very well. However, I disagree a little bit about the way you analyze your evidences. For example, the way you interpret Don Anselmo as making low quality products, and sell them for cheap. Meanwhile, in the next sentence you talked about the Americans taking risks. Therefore, if you eradicate all the inconsistent analysis in your essays, I believe that would improve the already very unified and coherent essay.
I think your essay is really good, the only things i think you should change is your evidence. I think you should use more real life evidence than the story we have read. Cause it is more easier to understand and find more information about it.
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